Tuesday 6th November 1984

"Life through green tinted glasses" *

I hate Mrs Mulrooney **. Not only did she drag me into last year's computer competition (sponsored by IBM!) but she has also dragged me into next year's too. At least I get an afternoon off tomorrow *** but I'll still be scared shitless.

Beverley has told me, or rather ordered me to phone Debbie! **** She wrote a letter to Debbie and said "Expect a phone call from Robert". I'm not going to, though. I just can't. What would I say? I never spoke to her when she was here, why should I speak to her when she's not here?

"Rachel Turner is a..." time again. After school I saw her and her boyfriend locked together kissing. (No rude ideas here, this is a respectable book)

Before that, after last lesson, I was walking down the stairs of the Junior Bloc and surprise surprise there's Rachel! I almost tripped over in shock 

After break (this book regresses) I entered the Old Bloc and she left. I actually got past her without a word or signal of shock. I must be learning. Read the last 3 or 4 entries of Bk 9 for a laugh. What's all this "cured" business anyway? It didn't work. If time heals all wounds then has time healed... Oh dear.

Ha! What else could I write?

Still no second verse to "You say" although I have got more inspiration from 5 paragraphs back. I'll start on a song about Leslie and Elaine soon. I shall not dent my memory of Debbie by insulting her. That wouldn't be nice.

Beverly has accused me of "over swearing". I agree. She uses "bog" instead of "fuck" as in "Fuck off" but it loses all power so...

It is freezing cold and feels like winter.

I'd like to write a poem again but can't be bothered really.

School is really depressing. Well it is, isn't it? Especially when there are people like Rachel in it as well. I wish one of us would leave, rather her do a "Debbie" as I call it. That would put me in a state of bliss like from 26th Jan to 27th February. 

I think there is a song called "Say you" by Colourbox. Anyway I've heard the b side "Fast dump" and it's fantastic. 

A repeat of the Cabs session on Peel. I think I missed a song before so I'll rerecord it.

I heard "The first picture of you" by the Lotus Eaters a few days ago and it reminded me of "Oh no not her again" Debbie! And summer '83. Over a year ago! I wish I was there rather than here

"In awe and wonderful". Good title. In awe of what? What is wonderful? Wait for the song. Rob's first nonsense lyrics. It also could be another boring lovey dobey love song. It could be in awe of machines. It could be in awe of nature, life, religion or Rachel. *****

Well maybe not

Well maybe yes

IBM. Industrial Beat Music. My Fair Industry. Industrial Revolution. School of Industry. All could be song or LP titles. Sorry, tapes, I can't afford to press any records!

If I lost my memory tomorrow morning what would happen? How could I survive in school? Would I go to the IBM meeting? WOULD I EVEN KNOW OR CARE WHO RACHEL IS? The answer is no. What cares?

THIS IS GETTING SELF INDULGENT AGAIN

Fuck off world.

* The new glasses mentioned the day before were green tinted Reactolite lenses. Cue much hilarity in sunlight.

** Computer studies teacher, subject tangentially of "Four A.M"

*** "Tomorrow" being a presentation for coming second in the quiz, see 7th November entry.

**** My first crush, left Penarth January 84. I was crushed.

***** "In awe and wonderful" would be written and recorded the following summer. You can listen to it here.

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